This is Part 3 of our Managing Anxiety series, and today we’re diving into something that can completely shift how you see yourself, your work, and your confidence:
Self-concept.
What you believe about you.
So… what is self-concept?
Your self-concept is simply:
What you believe about yourself that feels like a fact.
Who you are.
What you value.
Where you are in your journey.
Where you want to be next.
What you know to be true about yourself that no one can argue with.
For example:
It’s a fact that I have curly hair.
If you’ve seen the YouTube video, you’ve seen it in full force. Nobody can convince me otherwise.
And I have that same level of certainty about my ability to coach and mentor tradeswomen and tradies. It’s not ego — it’s truth. It’s part of who I am.
That’s my self-concept.
Why we work on mental health before self-concept
Your self-concept is built on the quality of your thoughts.
If your mental health is depleted, your self-concept will be built from a place of fear, shame, or exhaustion, not truth.
So, we always strengthen mental health first and then build the beliefs that support who we’re becoming.
Because when you truly believe something about yourself, no one can take it from you.
Your confidence becomes powered by your own thoughts — not other people’s comments, not assumptions, not workplace gossip.
A simple example: Being a first-year apprentice
Let’s take a first-year apprentice mechanic.
“First-year” is a fact.
From that fact, you can build a healthy self-concept:
- You’re learning new things.
- You’re literally being paid to learn new things.
- You might only know the basics — and that’s okay.
- People expect you to ask questions.
When you own that truth, you stop pretending to know things you don’t.
You free yourself to learn.
You reduce anxiety because you aren’t comparing yourself to someone with 20 years of experience.
You accept that mistakes are normal — not proof that you “don’t belong.”
A strong self-concept lets you embrace where you are and build a solid base for where you’re going next.
Why a strong self-concept protects you emotionally
In the trades, people say all sorts of things — kind things, annoying things, and sometimes hurtful things.
Most days, it rolls off.
But on a bad day? When every part is wrong, something breaks, an emergency job comes in, your plans get cancelled, and then someone says:
“Oh, it’s so nice to see a girl doing this!”
Suddenly your chest tightens, your eyes sting, and you need to slip away to your favourite cry spot.
(Yes, I had one. Yes, I used it often.)
And sometimes, the cutting comments come from other women.
I’ve had women tell me I’m “making things worse” for tradeswomen.
And because helping tradeswomen is so deeply important to me, it hit hard.
It hit harder because of the experiences I’d had during my apprenticeship.
The moment my self-concept broke
During my apprenticeship, I struggled with workplace relationships. I ended up in a secret relationship with another apprentice who told me to keep it quiet so it wouldn’t affect work.
Fair enough, I thought.
Later, after the relationship ended and the fog lifted, I found out he’d had a girlfriend the entire time.
Rumours spread for years.
Eventually, a female mechanic with 10 years’ experience asked me straight out:
“Did you hook up with him? He’s told everyone he got you.”
I spiralled.
I convinced myself I was “one of the girls making it worse.”
That I was the reason people thought women only entered the trade to get with guys.
That I’d ruined my reputation and my career.
Eventually, I built my confidence back up with the help of good people…
Until another mechanic made a comment that I was “going to do it again,” referencing first year.
And then I discovered that even someone I had called a friend, someone who knew how painful the first situation was, had similar intentions — again, with a girlfriend involved.
My confidence was shattered.
My self-concept collapsed.
I spiralled so deeply that I became suicidal, repeating the belief that I was part of the problem.
But I was lucky.
Mentors and friends helped pull me back up.
They helped me rebuild a healthier self-concept, one belief at a time.
What I know now
I know now that negative self-concept was driving everything.
I believed I was the problem — so everything reinforced that belief.
Today, my self-concept is different.
I know not everyone will like what I say.
I know people will sometimes misunderstand me.
I know people will unfollow — and sometimes you need to show them the unfollow button.
But I also know this:
Everything I say comes from good intentions.
No one can take that from me.
Two things you need to let other people’s words brush off
1. Know your WHY
Look back at why you started.
What gets you out of bed?
What drives you on your best days and your worst days?
My why is simple:
To help and support women, tradies, and tradesmen.
2. Accept that not everyone will like you
Our brains are still wired like cavemen — when someone doesn’t like us, our brain thinks we’ll be kicked out of the tribe and eaten by a tiger.
But the truth?
If someone dislikes you, you are still physically safe.
You are still worthy.
You are still enough.
And their opinion says everything about their worldview and nothing about your value.
A Quick Word on Workplace Relationships
I’ll write more about this separately, because it deserves its own space.
But here’s one thing I want to leave you with:
If you go into a workplace relationship and it goes pear-shaped —
that’s all it is. A relationship that didn’t go well.
It does not make you worthless.
It does not define your career.
It does not say anything about your technical skill or professionalism.
It just means you’re human.
And humans learn through living.
Starting Messy Still Counts
Writing this piece reminded me of something important:
You’re allowed to start messy.
You’re allowed to learn out loud.
You’re allowed to try before you feel prepared.
What matters is that you begin.
Because self-concept isn’t built overnight.
It’s built through every belief you choose,
every truth you hold,
and every time you decide to back yourself again.
And please — believe in yourself.
You deserve it.
Take a nap if you need it.
You’re doing better than you think.
If you’re a tradeswoman or tradesperson who’d like some help navigating this journey, I’d love to chat. You can book a coaching consultation with me here:
https://calendly.com/louise-azzopardi/coaching_consult
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