Unconscious bias is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but today I want to slow it down and really unpack what it is, how it shows up, how it affects us, and most importantly, what we can do about it.
I know some of this may sound familiar if you’ve read earlier blogs, but this topic is important enough to stand on its own. Because when you’re up against unconscious bias, having the language and understanding to name it can be incredibly empowering.
What is unconscious bias?
Unconscious bias is learned behaviour.
It’s the beliefs and assumptions people absorb from their upbringing, their education, their culture, and the generation they grew up in, often without ever questioning them.
Most of the time, it’s subtle. It’s that comment that doesn’t quite sit right. That interaction that leaves you feeling uncomfortable, but you can’t immediately explain why. It’s only when you stop and reflect that you realise: something wasn’t okay there.
Understanding unconscious bias matters because when we can recognise how it shows up, we can have more productive conversations about it. Without that clarity, our responses can come across as vague or emotional, and that often leads the other person to become defensive, rather than open to change.
Most of us know how frustrating vague feedback feels. If someone tells you, “You need to improve your attitude,” but doesn’t explain how, where do you even start? The same thing happens when we try to address bias without being specific.
Why this matters so much
Unconscious bias has gotten under my skin more times than I can count, and I know I’m not alone in that.
I remember one day at work. My mental health wasn’t great at the time, and nothing seemed to be going smoothly. A part broke during reinstallation. Another job wasn’t cooperating. Little frustrations kept stacking up.
When the replacement part finally arrived, the delivery guy, who is genuinely a nice person, made his usual comment about how “lovely” it was to see a woman doing this kind of work.
On another day, I might have brushed it off. But that day, already spiralling, my brain twisted it into something else entirely: Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. Maybe I don’t belong here.
It all became too much, and I ended up crying alone, tucked away in my favourite corner of the workshop.
After more than a decade of moments like this, I’ve learned that understanding unconscious bias and knowing how to respond to it can stop it from draining all of your energy.
How to have conversations that create change
The first step in addressing unconscious bias is understanding where it comes from, without putting someone on the defensive.
Asking, “Why would you say that?” often shuts people down. Instead, try:
- “Can you tell me more about what led you to think that?”
- “What made you say that?”
Then pause. Give them time to think.
Often, when people trace their own thoughts backwards, they realise on their own that what they said wasn’t necessary or helpful. And if they don’t, the next step is sharing how their words or actions landed from your perspective calmly and clearly.
This is where those difficult conversations come in. Not confrontational ones but honest ones.
When bias isn’t intentional
Unconscious bias is just that unconscious. It’s a function of the human brain. Our brains delete, distort, and generalise information constantly to cope with the world.
In male-dominated industries, many men have been conditioned to mentally “delete” women from certain roles. They may skim past female names on resumes without realising they’re doing it. Not because they’re bad people but because that’s what they’ve always been shown.
I experienced this clearly while volunteering at the international WorldSkills competition in Russia. I was asked to move some plastic tables, something well within my ability, and a man stepped in to stop me, saying women don’t do that kind of work.
I calmly asked him why.
He explained that in his culture, women aren’t expected to do physical tasks.
I told him I was capable and that if I needed help, I’d ask.
I could almost see his beliefs reshuffling in real time. He wasn’t trying to hold me back; he was operating from what he’d been taught was “normal.”
Two years previously, I had competed in the competition, beating his competitor in the heavy vehicle mechanic category. He had seen me do work a lot harder and a lot heavier, but it had been so ingrained in him that it was impolite to let women do “heavy work” that he had forgotten that information in the moment.
And that’s why these conversations matter.
Giving people the chance to adjust
Unconscious bias doesn’t make someone a bad person, but ignoring it once it’s been pointed out does become a choice.
When we gently question behaviour, we give people the opportunity to reflect, adjust, and grow. And when they do, real change happens not just for us, but for the people who come after us.
I write from my experience as a white woman in a male-dominated industry, but these patterns affect many minorities in different ways. The approach remains the same: curiosity, clarity, and calm honesty.
Final Thoughts
Unconscious bias will continue to show up, but it doesn’t have to control the narrative.
By recognising it, naming it, and responding with intention, we can slowly dismantle the assumptions that limit people’s potential.
And sometimes, all it takes is one conversation to rearrange someone’s thinking.
If you’re a tradeswoman or tradesperson who’d like some help navigating this journey, I’d love to chat. You can book a coaching consultation with me here:
https://calendly.com/louise-azzopardi/coaching_consult
This blog is proudly supported by Midies.
If you’re looking for comfortable, practical, and stylish underwear, women’s boxer briefs might just be a perfect choice. Made for women by women. Shop Here: https://www.midies.co/?ref=LouiseAzzopardi
