I’ve got a concept for you today and I’m pretty sure I made it up. Maybe I heard it somewhere years ago, but in my head, this one’s mine.
You are 50% of every relationship you’re in.
Now, before your brain jumps straight to romantic relationships, yes, that applies there. But I’m talking about every human interaction.
Your coworkers.
Your boss.
Your apprentice.
Your parts person (don’t know why I always single them out, but here we are).
Your friends.
Your family.
Your partner.
If you are in such a relationship, you are 50% of it.
And this isn’t the same as “treat people how you want to be treated.” It’s more about energy, responsibility, and balance.
The 50/50 Baseline
In a healthy dynamic, both people bring 50%.
Sometimes it shifts. In romantic relationships and close friendships, it absolutely shifts. Sometimes someone can only give 20% because they’re exhausted, grieving, unwell, overwhelmed and you step in with 80%.
And sometimes that’s you. I’ve had seasons where other people have carried me more than I’ve carried them.
That’s normal.
But the key is: it moves. It teeter-totters. It doesn’t live permanently at 80/20.
When it lives there, that’s when resentment builds. That’s when exhaustion creeps in.
Workplace Energy Imbalance
Let’s bring this into the workplace, especially in trades.
Sometimes you’ve got a coworker who’s distracted, sick, or having a rough week. You might step up and carry 60–70% for a few days. That’s teamwork.
But if you’re constantly doing 80–90%? If you’re always compensating? If you’re always proving yourself? That’s when you need to pause.
And this is especially relevant for tradeswomen.
Sometimes it can feel like you’re pushing into the space. Like you must overperform to justify being there. Like you must be extra friendly, extra helpful, extra competent, extra everything.
That’s when you check in.
Am I doing more than my 50%?
Do I need to?
Do I want to?
Because you don’t have to fill in someone else’s 50%.
You can — but you don’t have to.
Energy Vampires (Yes, They’re Real)
I was watching Indian Matchmaker the other night, and they used the term “energy vampires.” People who give 0–10% but expect 90–100% from you.
We’ve all met them.
They don’t engage.
They don’t reciprocate.
They don’t initiate.
But somehow, you’re doing all the emotional heavy lifting.
If you’re constantly feeling drained after interacting with someone, this concept is a good gauge.
Are you trying to supply both halves of the relationship?
Because that’s not sustainable.
Matching Energy (Without Being Petty)
Sometimes imbalance isn’t malicious. Sometimes someone’s just tired. Or distracted. Or socially awkward.
But if you’re always coming in at 90% energy and they’re sitting at 30%, you might need to recalibrate.
Not in a petty way.
Just in a self-protective way.
If someone gives you 50%, meet them at 50%.
If someone gives you 30%, maybe meet them there instead of dragging yourself up to 100% trying to lift the room.
And if something feels consistently off? That’s where conversations come in.
You can say:
- “Hey, I feel like I’ve been picking up a bit more lately. Are you okay?”
- “Do you want to be left alone, or should we be tackling this together?”
You don’t have to accuse. You don’t have to attack. You just clarify.
The Exhaustion Check
If you’re ending your workday feeling completely drained and you don’t know why, ask yourself:
Am I being 80% in every relationship I’m in?
Because if you are, no wonder you’re tired.
You deserve 50/50.
You deserve reciprocity.
You deserve, sometimes, for someone else to carry the 80%.
Healthy relationships at work and outside of work hover around balance. They tip occasionally, but they don’t permanently lean.
And if they do? That’s your cue. Either recalibrate your energy or have the conversation.
Especially for Tradeswomen
This matters in male-dominated spaces.
You don’t have to overcompensate your way into belonging.
You don’t have to prove yourself every second of every day.
You are already 50% of that interaction simply by being there.
Let the other person bring their half.
If you’re a tradeswoman or tradesperson who’d like some help navigating this journey, I’d love to chat. You can book a coaching consultation with me here:
https://calendly.com/louise-azzopardi/coaching_consult
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