There’s something I really want to talk about when it comes to your energy. Your vibe. The way you move through the world. The way you interpret situations, people, workplaces, and relationships.
And yes, maybe this sounds a little bit “woo woo,” but honestly, humans are weird anyway. We are literally mushy electrical brains walking around having emotions, conversations, and consciousness. So, let’s just roll with it.
You know how there are some people you feel really good around? And then there are other people who leave you feeling completely drained?
That’s the kind of energy I’m talking about.
Sometimes, especially after being hurt, judged, excluded, or treated badly, we start walking into situations already ready for a fight.
We go in thinking:
- everyone here is sexist
- everyone here is racist
- everyone here is homophobic
- everyone here is against me
And look, those things absolutely exist. People can absolutely be sexist, racist, homophobic, or just plain awful.
But when we start painting everyone with that brush, it changes the way we experience the world.
We stop seeing the good people.
We stop seeing the neutral people.
We stop seeing the people who maybe care, but just genuinely don’t know what to say or do.
And honestly? Living in that energy feels exhausting.
You’re constantly braced for impact. Constantly defensive. Constantly ready to fight.
That state drains you.
Not Everyone Is Everything
One of the biggest things I’ve had to learn is separating individual people from “everyone.”
Not everyone is bad.
Not everyone is good either.
But not everyone is everything.
When you catch yourself thinking:
“Everyone at this workplace is awful.”
“Men are this.”
“Women are this.”
“People are this.”
Take a step back and ask yourself:
Is that actually true?
Or are there specific people who are creating those experiences?
Because once we get specific, we can actually do something about it.
We can start deciding:
- who deserves our energy
- who doesn’t
- where we want to direct our effort
- and what relationships are actually worth working on
Your Energy Is For You First
A lot of people talk about changing your energy so you can influence other people.
And honestly, maybe that happens.
But that’s not the main reason.
The main reason is you.
When you stop walking around in fight mode all the time, you conserve energy for the things and people you love.
You have more energy for:
- your goals
- your hobbies
- your family
- your healing
- your work
- your future
You feel calmer.
You feel lighter.
You stop spending every second emotionally preparing for battle.
That’s the real win.
Where Do You Want Your Energy To Go?
This was a really big shift for me personally.
I’ve been in situations where I could have spent years fighting individual people who treated me badly.
And sometimes those fights are necessary.
But sometimes I had to ask myself:
Would I rather spend all my energy battling this one person… or use that energy to help hundreds or thousands of people instead?
For me, that looked like creating content, building communities, coaching women in trades, and creating conversations that help people feel less alone.
That’s where I decided I wanted my energy to go.
And you get to decide that too.
Maybe your energy goes into:
- building safer workplaces
- creating policies and procedures
- finding a better job
- joining a support group
- healing yourself
- learning new skills
- surrounding yourself with better people
You get to choose.
Some People Don’t Need Access To You
One thing I worked through with a client recently was realising she was emotionally managing relationships with people she didn’t even actually care about anymore.
People she no longer worked with.
People she barely spoke to.
People sitting on her Facebook friends list, draining her energy every single time she saw them.
And honestly, social media is such an easy place to start.
You do not need to keep giving people access to you just because they once existed in your life.
You can unfollow people.
You can mute people.
You can remove people quietly and peacefully.
Not every battle needs to be fought.
Some people simply do not deserve access to your energy anymore.
Protect Your Energy Without Losing Yourself
This isn’t about pretending bad things don’t exist.
It’s not about becoming passive.
It’s not about tolerating disrespect.
It’s about being intentional with your energy.
It’s about recognising:
- who deserves effort
- what deserves your attention
- and where your energy creates the biggest impact
Because your energy is valuable.
And the way you move through the world affects you first before it affects anyone else.
Final Thoughts
Your energy is not unlimited.
If you spend all of it fighting every single person, proving yourself to people who don’t value you, or carrying the belief that everyone is against you, eventually you burn out.
Take a step back.
Get specific.
Not everyone is everything.
Decide where your energy actually matters.
And then protect it like it matters too.
This blog is supported by EMU Safety.
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