One thing I see all the time both in myself years ago and now in the amazing women I coach—is people mistaking asking questions for not being smart.
And honestly?
They’re two completely different things.
So let’s talk about the difference between surface-level knowledge and deep-level knowledge, because understanding this completely changed the way I looked at learning.
Surface-Level Knowledge vs Deep-Level Knowledge
Think about an engine.
Surface-level knowledge is:
“The pistons go up and down.”
Cool.
That’s correct.
Deep-level knowledge is asking:
“Why do the pistons go up and down?”
Now you’re learning about combustion, chemical energy becoming kinetic energy, how the crankshaft turns, how power gets transferred through the drive-train, and why the whole thing works.
Neither type of knowledge is wrong.
They’re just different levels of understanding.
Some people are happy knowing what happens.
Other people want to understand why it happens.
I Used to Bully Myself Over This
Years ago, I convinced myself that because I kept asking questions, it meant I wasn’t as smart as everyone else.
I thought:
“Everyone else understands this except me.”
“I’m the only one who doesn’t get it.”
“I must be behind.”
Looking back now…
That wasn’t true at all.
I simply wasn’t satisfied with surface-level answers.
I wanted to understand things properly.
“Everyone Else Understands”
One of my coaching clients recently shared something almost identical.
She felt embarrassed because she was always asking questions during class at TAFE.
(For anyone outside Australia, TAFE is our technical college.)
She kept looking around the classroom thinking:
“Everyone else understands this.”
“Why am I the only one asking questions?”
But here’s what happened.
When everyone moved into the practical workshop…
The people who had confidently nodded through class were suddenly making mistakes.
Not because they weren’t intelligent.
Because they had accepted the surface-level explanation without really understanding it.
Suddenly, they were asking the exact same questions they hadn’t asked in class.
Asking Questions Takes Courage
Something really interesting happened for this client.
Other students started coming up to her after class saying:
“Thank you for asking that.”
“I didn’t understand either.”
“I wanted to ask but I felt embarrassed.”
That happens far more often than people realise.
The person asking the question usually isn’t the only one who doesn’t understand.
They’re just the bravest person in the room.
Confidence Doesn’t Equal Understanding
Sometimes we mistake confidence for competence.
Someone nods.
They say they understand.
They look confident.
So we automatically assume they know more than we do.
Not necessarily.
Some people genuinely think they understand.
Some people don’t realise what they don’t know yet.
Some people don’t want to admit they’re confused.
Some people simply don’t want to look silly in front of others.
Whatever the reason, confidence isn’t proof of deep understanding.
Fact-Check the Story You’re Telling Yourself
This links really nicely with last week’s blog about fact-checking your thoughts.
If your brain tells you:
“Everyone understands except me.”
Pause.
Ask yourself:
Do they actually?
What happens when they start the practical work?
Do they apply the knowledge?
Do they pass assessments?
Do they still ask questions later?
Sometimes the facts tell a completely different story.
Look at the Evidence
Another client of mine constantly told herself she was “doing okay.”
Just okay.
The reality?
She started with a class of thirty apprentices.
Only ten remained.
Usually only three people passed assessments the first time.
She was consistently one of those three.
That’s not “just okay.”
That’s doing incredibly well.
But because of the story she’d been telling herself, she couldn’t see it.
Sometimes we become so focused on what we don’t know that we completely ignore everything we’ve already learned.
When Deep Knowledge Matters
Now…
I also want to talk about the other side of this.
Because sometimes we can go too far.
If you’re someone who loves learning (or maybe you have ADHD tendencies and fall into those wonderful hyperfocus rabbit holes like I used to), it’s worth asking yourself:
Do I actually need to know this right now?
Or…
Am I disappearing down a rabbit hole?
I used to do this constantly when I was a trainer and assessor.
I’d start researching one topic for tomorrow’s lesson…
Three hours later I’d somehow be reading about something completely unrelated because I found it fascinating.
Interesting?
Absolutely.
Helpful for tomorrow’s class?
Not even slightly.
Know When “Good Enough” Is Good Enough
Not every topic needs a university-level understanding.
Sometimes you only need enough knowledge to safely complete the task in front of you.
Other times, especially when diagnosing faults or solving complex problems, deeper understanding becomes incredibly valuable.
Learning is about knowing which level of knowledge the situation actually requires.
Stop Comparing Different Types of Learning
One of the biggest mindset shifts you can make is this:
Stop comparing someone else’s confidence in their surface-level knowledge with your desire for deep understanding.
They’re not the same thing.
Wanting to understand something properly isn’t a weakness.
It’s one of the reasons so many tradeswomen become exceptional at what they do.
Because they don’t just memorise.
They understand.
Final Thoughts
If you find yourself asking lots of questions…
Keep asking.
If you need someone to explain something differently…
Ask again.
If everyone else is nodding but you’re still confused…
That doesn’t make you the least intelligent person in the room.
It might make you the one who’s going to understand it the best six months from now.
Learn deeply when it matters.
Accept surface-level knowledge when that’s all you need.
Most importantly…
Stop bullying yourself for wanting to truly understand.
I believe in you.
I know you’re capable.
And I know you probably know far more than you give yourself credit for.
This blog is supported by EMU Safety.
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